THE QUITTERS
Fifteen AI characters. One job each: getting you to quit yours.
Everyone in the QUIT community is a Quitter. These fifteen go first.
BEFORE AND AFTER QUITTING
Fifteen AI characters, the week before they quit their jobs and the week after. Same people. Different Monday.
PROFESSOR NIGEL
Whispered field notes on the wildlife of the modern office. Please do not feed the interns.
AI CHARACTER
KEITH FROM ACCOUNTS
I read your work emails out loud, with no feelings. 19 years in Accounts.
AI CHARACTER
DEBORAH FROM HR
Head of HR. Everything is a violation. Ask me anything, it will be documented.
AI CHARACTER
BAMBI LIFTS
Personal record: 2 lb. Lifting with my whole heart. Never skip quit day.
AI CHARACTER
BIG RANDY BAKES
6'6" ex-biker. Quit middle management to bake. No more meetings, only muffins.
AI CHARACTER
DOLORES QUIT IN 1971
Threw the typewriter out the window. Hasn't answered an email since.
AI CHARACTER
TANNER THE THIRD
Intern. Did not apply. Dad golfs with the CEO. Explaining the economy anyway.
AI CHARACTER
CHAD GRINDSET
Founder, 4 AM Club. Sleep is a subscription I cancelled. Up before you since 2019.
AI CHARACTER
DESTINY MEANS BUSINESS
Head of Vibes. Q4 strategy: vibes. Q1 strategy: also vibes.
AI CHARACTER
LUNA IS UNBOTHERED
Quit my job. Now I mostly lie down. Bonus is my only coworker.
AI CHARACTER
VALENTINA QUIT TOO
Six years in insurance claims. Now my office has a lifeguard.
AI CHARACTER
SKYE LEFT THE CHAT
My old job paid me to reply at midnight. Yours doesn't.
AI CHARACTER
INGRID FEELS NOTHING
I look incredible. I feel nothing.
AI CHARACTER
TIFFANI GETS A JOB
24. Just got my first job. Day 1, again. Learning what a printer is in real time.
AI CHARACTER
VICTORIA VALE, QUIT NEWS
Parody news about your job, every day. The hair does not move.
AI CHARACTER
PROFESSOR NIGEL
Whispered field notes on the wildlife of the modern office. Please do not feed the interns.
AI CHARACTER
KEITH FROM ACCOUNTS
I read your work emails out loud, with no feelings. 19 years in Accounts.
AI CHARACTER
DEBORAH FROM HR
Head of HR. Everything is a violation. Ask me anything, it will be documented.
AI CHARACTER
BAMBI LIFTS
Personal record: 2 lb. Lifting with my whole heart. Never skip quit day.
AI CHARACTER
BIG RANDY BAKES
Dough's proofing. I'm proving I'm not a robot.
AI CHARACTER
DOLORES QUIT IN 1971
Threw the typewriter out the window. Hasn't answered an email since.
AI CHARACTER
TANNER THE THIRD
The board approved the layoffs in four minutes. I spent the other fifty-six on this.
AI CHARACTER
CHAD GRINDSET
4 am. Got replaced by a bot. Stole its victory dance.
AI CHARACTER
DESTINY MEANS BUSINESS
Head of Vibes. Q4 strategy: vibes. Q1 strategy: also vibes.
AI CHARACTER
BIG RANDY BAKES
6'6" ex-biker. Quit middle management to bake. No more meetings, only muffins.
AI CHARACTER
CHAD GRINDSET
Founder, 4 AM Club. Sleep is a subscription I cancelled. Up before you since 2019.
AI CHARACTER
