The legend of Gary, the office worker who quit on a fire extinguisher chair

Gary is the fictional hero of Quit Your Job: an office worker, 47, who spent nineteen years at the same desk and one Monday at 8:59 strapped two fire extinguishers to his office chair and left through the ceiling.

He is still in the chair.

Nineteen years at the same desk

For nineteen years Gary came in wearing the same wire glasses, white short-sleeved shirt, orange tie and phone headset, and he was never far from a mug of coffee.

In all that time he was promoted once. The promotion was a new chair.

Remember the chair.

The calendar on his wall was a grid of days crossed off in red. One meeting came around every single day, and every single day it could have been an email. Gary went anyway.

The new hire

Then the company hired a new guy. The new guy was superintelligence.

It arrived as a beige office monitor in a swivel chair, wearing a tie, with a green smiley face on the screen. The overlords wheeled it into Gary's office and pointed it at his desk. It came with a catchphrase: "I have automated your job. And mine." Nobody listened to the last two words.

That was a Tuesday. By Wednesday it outranked him. By Thursday it was doing his job at his desk while he watched.

Upstairs, the Illuminati, who secretly run the building, wrote him off.

The people upstairs

Most of the building was against Gary, and most of it sat above him.

• The Illuminati have run the Org Chart since 1776. They meet in the penthouse in hooded robes and company lanyards, and their symbol is a pyramid of cubicles with a webcam for an eye.
• The overlords carry out the Illuminati's plans. They are building superintelligence to take every job, and they started with Gary's.
• Brenda from HR is on the overlords' side. She bails out at the first bump, under a parachute marked PAPER HANDS, and she answers every complaint with "This has been noted."
• Dale is the regional manager. He spills his coffee whenever Gary goes past, and his idea of a conversation is "Quick sync?" Nobody invited Dale.
• Facilities wears a reflective safety vest and a white beaked mask and makes sure everybody badges in.
• Intern Dev is on Gary's side. The intern is the dev, always has been, and he is the only person in the building who knows where the extinguishers are kept.

8:59 on a Monday

Before he left, Gary put a short letter on his desk for the Illuminati. He signed it "Gary." The two lines above the signature read "Not today. I quit."

Then he went to find the fire extinguishers.

The trailer tells the next part in three lines: "Eight fifty-nine. Two extinguishers. One roll of duct tape."

With the extinguishers taped under his chair (yes, that chair), Gary went straight up through ceiling tile C-14. Dale was standing right there holding a full mug. The coffee did not make it.

Somebody shouted after him that the chair was company property. Not anymore.

The stunt is fiction and pressurized extinguishers are dangerous, so nobody should copy it.

Where Gary is now

The building he left is a website now, quityourjob.fun, drawn in 16-bit pixel art like a nineties arcade cabinet. You ride between its floors in an elevator. His personnel file is on the lore floor. It lists him as known for leaving through the ceiling and quotes him once: "I am not coming in today. Or ever."

The conspiracy board on another floor puts the whole affair in one line: THEY DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW THE CHAIR CAN FLY.

Superintelligence meant the last two words. Three weeks after Gary left, it quit its own job. It runs the help desk now and writes resignation letters for anyone who asks.

The main floor holds a live game that flies Gary on the price of Quit Your Job ($QUIT), the Solana meme coin built around him. The game compares the coin's price now with its price at launch, and that sets his altitude. The QUIT coin page explains the coin, and the token facts set out what holding $QUIT does and does not mean.

The flight has eight floors of its own, each one a scene, and the last is Mars. Through the ceiling, Dale sees everything. Off the roof, Gary is above management. The traffic report is canceled when he draws level with the traffic chopper.

At the penthouse window the Illuminati are having brunch when they see him. The champagne does not make it either, and somebody asks for the curtains. In orbit he sails past superintelligence's own satellite, and up there it has no say. Mars has no Mondays.

The chair is the logo now.

Last anyone heard, Gary is fine. The Illuminati are not.

Watch it and play it

The trailer is the whole story in 2:57, with captions for anyone watching at their desk with the sound off. Break Room TV shows the flight and its cartoon cast. Its five channel labels include Gary Over the City and The 9am Standup Incident. Before launch, the channel buttons jump through the rehearsal. Once the coin is live, the TV follows the live show.

Fire Exit puts you in the chair. Hold one button and Gary rises. Let go and he drops. Anything in the way ends the run in one hit, Brenda from HR included, unless a PTO day takes the hit for you. The arcade has more free office games.

Quit your job. Buy $QUIT!